***LONG POST***
I just have to say that I'm a little frustrated right now. Since we've moved, Braden has had a few "adjustment issues". We've had a set back in his potty training and he's stopped sleeping through the night, which I believe is affecting his behavior. He's begun to get more aggressive with Jeremy and I. Hitting and kicking us or throwing things at us. It's so frustrating because if we react to it, he thinks it's funny and will just do it more. But how do you NOT react to someone trying to hurt you!? He's been destructive with all his toys too and now I've had to take almost all of them away. His room has less stuff in it than a prison cell! We've had to remove his dresser, toys, bean bag, book case, and now I think we're going to have to take the bed and leave just the mattress because he's completely stripping the bed each morning (including removing the mattress from the bed). What kind of mother am I if I make my child sleep on a mattress on the floor!? I feel AWFUL! We've been really concerned about Braden not sleeping at night so we took him to a doctor. The doctor referred us to a psychologist, who we saw on Tuesday. She asked if we had applied for any assistance through the state and I told her I did but it was basically useless because they told me there is a 5 year waiting list for most services. Everything is income based here and Jeremy makes too much for us to get assistance (but not enough for us to pay for this stuff on our own, autism treatment is VERY expensive!). She said that I had gone through the wrong department and to try this other one. It totally gave me hope! However, when I called the people she said to call, they told me Braden was too old and there was nothing more I could do! Grrrrrr! I really don't miss living in Az, but I DO miss the assistance they gave us with Braden. He was getting so much more help, and had a structured schedule that kept him really busy. I'm just not able to do all that by myself. I'm not a speech therapist or an occupational therapist or have a master's degree in Behavioral Analysis! All I can do is what I know how to do, but Braden really doesn't want to spend tons of time with "mom". I'm just hoping that he'll do a little better once he's in all day kindergarten next year. The psychologist also suggested putting him on a medication that is meant for ADHD kids. She said it will help with the aggressive behavior and sleep problems, but I just don't know. I really don't want to medicate my 5 year old! But he can't be acting this aggressive when we have a baby in the house. I'm REALLY torn on this one. I don't know if it will even help him, but if it DOES, do the benefits outweigh the risks? I'm at a loss on this one. I've been checking every forum and message board I could find about parents with autistic children who've tried this medication and the results are basically mixed. Some said it worked, and some said it didn't really help or it made their child too sleepy. I'm sorry to whine so much, but I needed a place to let out my frustrations on this and I want to document all of our ups and downs as we go through the process of raising an autistic child. (maybe I'll write a book about it someday.) Having Braden has been more of a blessing in our life than I can express, but it certainly has pushed us to our limits too. Braden has been making steady improvements in his speech since we've moved and he can talk in full sentences now. The psychologist told us that kids who continue to make progress in speech even when they have setbacks elsewhere are the ones with the best prognosis. I can only hope that's true. He did something very funny the other day. We went out to eat and the waitress came to take our order and we asked Braden what he wanted and he said "cheeseburger" (a pretty standard answer for him). When the waitress walked away toward the kitchen Braden yelled at the waitress (loud enough for everyone to hear) "Bring me a cheeseburger!". It was embarrassing, but funny too. He must have been really hungry. :) I was making dinner the other day and I was in the kitchen for a while putting together a casserole and Braden was hungry and kept coming in to try and get snacks. When I had the casserole put together and I put it in the oven, I came out to the living room to sit and take a break while it baked. Braden, who was sitting at the dinner table, got mad and said, "Mommy! Get back in the kitchen!" Maybe I'm not feeding him enough. :) I swear he eats all day most days. I can't imagine what he'll be like as a teenager! Yikes!
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2 comments:
I'm sorry! I obviously am not one to give you advice on this. All I can think of is to suggest that you pray about why YOU are Braden's mom...because I guarantee Heavenly Father will open your eyes to everything you do for Braden that nobody else can do. Love you. P.S. I have two family members who are on ADHD medication and it has helped them a lot.
Oh, I am sorry for the frusteration. I hope you find some help soon. I do have some advice on the behaviors and medication. Tyson is 4 and has ADHD with the same outbursts. I will not medicate him this early. But I found some things that does help. As far as the sleeping, try giving him half a melatonin. It's all natural, you don't need to do it every night, just the days he's the hardest. It has helped us so much. You can get it at a health food store. And then I also heard about bees wax, I'm still looking into that one. Then also, his diet, try to cut out as much sugar and high fructose sugar, I know it's hard but it may help. I personally give my son a little caffiene soda in the morning, it calms him down. Also what has worked with our son tremendously is reward for good behavior activities; basically I give him a task such as practicing his writing and when he does it for half hour or hour, then he gets half hour game playing time. That's all I can think of right now. but we had to do the same thing with his toys too.
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